Where Ya Been, Fin? A Case For A Tail Fin Comeback

June 16, 2015
Story By
Motorhead Mama

I dunno about you, but I like a nice, sharp piece of tail. The longer, the more obnoxious, the better-- I really love tail fins. Whether at a car show, parking lot or vintage meet up, I always find myself kneeling behind the 50s and 60s sedans, praying to the tail fin gods that we can get edges back on our rear bumpers before I loose my mind.

My mother used to tell me, ‘Everything good comes back into style.’ And she was right. I kept some of my totally awesome 80s outfits & now my kid wears them to school. I kept all of my dad’s vinyl jazz collection and guess what? The skinny jean wearing, beard-grooming hipsters are now eating them up on Ebay. So while vinyl, beards, and neon crop tops resurface in the mainstream, what is stopping the automotive industry from bringing back the tail fin? There was a time when extreme fins were a competitive sport and the American automotive manufacturers were winning, hands down. The boys at Cadillac reigned supreme.

So how did we go from this?

To this? Even though American tail fins were the most memorable and the most daring, this was not just a domestic phenomenon. Everyone got in the game:

From the Swedes...

to the Brits...

... even the illustrious Ferrari. And everyone knows that if Enzo thinks it’s a good idea, it must be so. Here’s what they all understood. Tail fins represent something that cars these days are desperately trying to recapture - and that thing is character. Many use the excuse of increased aerodynamics and fuel economy for their tendency towards rounded rears. A few do have a point, considering both Chrysler and Ford found themselves in legal battles involving injuries sustained when parked pointed fins were a little too sharp for a passing pedestrian. Yes, that’s terrible. But plenty of new cars hurt my eyes—doesn’t THAT count for anything? And given the fact that so many of our autos spend the majority of their time creeping along in freeway traffic, I doubt that all aerodynamics require maximum output. Others complain about the labor intensity of sculpting chrome into complex shapes. Sure, that looks awful. I’m glad that’s not my job. But if we can figure out how to make a computer that sits in my pocket and then answers my dumb questions with a real human voice, I’m pretty sure we can slap something interesting around some tail lights once again.

I would love to drive a car with tailfins so small I could floss my teeth at stoplights. I would like to see tail fins so pronounced that I could cook kabobs on my exhaust. I would love elongated rear bumpers so flat that I could iron shirts at tail gates. And I'm not giving up just yet.

All evidence points to a tail fin comeback just being a matter of time. As wings and spoilers get bigger and frankly, borderline ridiculous, we’re going to eventually have to put our attention back on the car body itself. Just look that the crazy wing on the GT-R NISMO - trust me, I love it. But it’s one of the very few cars that actually need an extremity this large - because if you’ve got 600 horse and close to 500 bhp of torque, let’s make sure that your downforce is under control, shall we? We all know that the rest of the excessive wings and spoilers out there are less about controlling their vehicle and more about capturing their audience. And I get that. But if you ask the guy who owns this '52 Chevy about attention, I'll bet you 20 bucks he wants for nothing.

So let's stop being so safe and secure, American car companies. Let's bring our bold back - tail fins would be a great place to start. And we'd better hurry up, because as you continue to curve, round, and smooth our trunks into obscurity, I'm getting some hints that tail fins are creeping back from across the pond....

Volvo’s new XC90 has tail lights that get their spike on.

And the latest R8 has jagged edges in the rear - and trust me, they’re not scared about slowing it down or making mince pies out of a stray pedestrian. Even the revered Acura NSX proudly protrudes backwards, nobody’s arguing with that! So let's not let the foreign manufacturers take what's ours. This is a design space that America created and owned like no other. So give me some points on a CTS, add some attitude to the ATS, the Malibu could sure use some edge. Lincoln even brought back the Continental without a hint of the quirks and kinks that made that model so iconic. That makes me sad. Because if I can proudly unpack my 1984 Thompson Twins fringed t-shirt, I think you guys can revisit your glory days and pluck out a few gems as well.

Where Ya Been, Fin? A Case For A Tail Fin Comeback

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