6 Cringe-Worthy Car Mods: Don't Be 'That Guy'
While modifying one's car is a matter of personal taste, and certainly you can do whatever you damn well want to, sometimes we auto enthusiasts get carried away. We forget that the rest of the world may not understand our passion for all things four (or two, or three, or six) wheeled. And sometimes in the process of getting carried away, we become the thing we never wanted to be in the first place. That guy. That girl. The person with cringe-worthy car mods who's just out of hand and leaves onlookers wondering, "What were they thinking?!"
Here are a few reminders to help keep your car from being gawked at for all the wrong reasons:
1. Don't forget to grow up.
Yes, Batman is great. He's smart. He's sexy. He sells a lot of movies and comic books. But I've got news for you, pal: He's not real. And if he was, he's not announcing it on his vanity plate. So it's time to move out of your parents' basement, get a real job and stuff your bat-dreams into a box in the closet where they belong.
2. Don't forget where you are.
I love this country. I'm so glad you do too. But that's usually implicit with the fact that we are in fact, occupying it and not on a raft to another, possibly better place. A flag? Sure. A bumper sticker? No problem. But a full on mural with animated Uncle Sam and an angry eagle is officially beyond the realm of acceptability and you've gone to Dbag-land. Grab your passport and come home, ASAP.
3. Don't forget to get dirty.
It's so great when someone has the time and resources to trick out their off-roader. There are plenty of us that would love to have that luxury. But when you're so busy making it look like it can handle anything that you forget to actually have it do anything, well, then you become the guy with the shiny wheels and eerily clean Jeep. And that's just not pretty.
4. Don't forget it's a Prius.
There are so many Priuses on the road, particularly in California, that it's almost impossible to resist the temptation to customize. If anything, just for the convenience of being able to spot your ride in a parking lot. But when you grab the red electrical tape and start unwinding, you may want to limit yourself to just one roll. This is, after all, just a Prius. The offset racing stripes may be ironic, but they're still awful. And no, I won't relax.
5. Don't forget zombies aren't real.
Policemen. Firemen. Ambulatory services. It's great to live in a place where these things exist to keep us safe. But for most of us, zombie outbreaks aren't necessarily on our top 10 list of things to worry about. Not to mention the fact that for those of us who are a tad lead footed, impersonating a police officer is more frightening than the walking dead. So, please do us a favor and keep your zombie fantasies to yourself... and maybe lay off the Resident Evil for a while.
6. Don't forget to leave the bird at home.
Car shows are great. Car shows are fun. But if you're there to get attention, you're probably gonna want to do so by driving something cool, not by being the guy launching parrot bombs on Lamborghinis (that'll only get you a bunch of rainbow feathers in your pockets.)
So let's all agree that while we are community of fantastic freaks, every now and then we could use a reality check.
